By Success Majaramhepo:

Calvin Tsoka’s (not his real name) wedding was greeted with pomp and fanfare as he married his longtime girlfriend. Today, he regrets the day he exchanged vows with his wife.

He has been living what he calls a “hell’ of life, where he claims suffers abuse at the hands of his wife daily.

“We got married in 2013 and everything went on well until after six months when my wife denied me conjugal rights. At first, I thought it was something to do with nature because she was pregnant,” claims Tsoka.

While it is considered taboo that men cannot be bashed by women, the long held belief that women are victims of domestic violence seems to have been broken. Tsoka soon became a “punching bag” of his wife.

He could not even share his ordeal with close friends and relatives for fear of being ridiculed.

“Things got worse when she gave birth, I was subjected to insults. She started assaulting me each time I questioned her morality,” said the father of two.

Statistics have painted a gloomy picture of men suffering in silence. A striking number of men are victims too, suffering physically, mental and sexual abuse in relationships.

It is said that one of the reason for the disparity in reported cases might be that men end up being arrested after reporting abuse to police.

 Stewart Mugadza, who is a victim of domestic violence explains, “l was afraid to go and report the case to the police because they see women as victims.”

Mugadza says he was a victim of verbal and physical abuse from his wife.

“I am no different to someone in jail, because my wife physically assaults me in front of our kids. She even told me that I am worthless. Recently, she bashed me over a petty issue, because I love my kids I cannot retaliate. She went on to report to the police that I had assaulted her, however, I was rescued by my children who narrated what transpired to the police.”

“The fact that I am not employed does not give her the right to abuse me. She even tells me to wash her undergarments, including that of my daughter’s,” a troubled Mugadza said.

Reacting to this issue, gender activist Tariro Muringani called for fair treatment of men and women and also encouraged male victims to report their cases to the police since minor issues can lead to dangerous situation.

“A victim of domestic abuse is still victim no matter the gender of the attacker. Even as a man, you need to take violence against you seriously even if you significantly or stronger than the woman since small things can escalated into more dangerous situations,” said Muringani.

She added that feminism has led to the destruction of many families in Africa, as women are now abusing their husbands.

“Feminism has become Satanism designed to destroy African families by the West. The Western culture has destroyed the glue which held African families together. When feminism was introduced in Africa it was meant to empower women and to improve family life through equal rights not to destroy it,” she added.

We tried to get in touch with a gender activist of Msasa Project Netty Musanhu to give a comment on this issue, but her phone was not reachable.